Oh my fucking god---just when you think life has shit all over you, you meet a guy who makes you feel like Wonder Woman and Heidi Klum all rolled up into one.....I think I met the virtual man of my dreams! This guy had me cumming like a fire hose putting out a nine alarm fire! This guy had me doing things that I never thought I would do in "public" and the shocking thing is that I didn't feel guilty or bad or naughty about any of it. If anything I wanted more, I didn't want it to stop, I wanted it to last forever.....I wanted this man to do anything he wanted to me....anytime, anywhere.....if he had wanted me to crawl across hot coals just so I could suck his cock, I would be scarred and burned but his dick would be in my mouth and I would be swallowing his cum while he put burn ointment all over my body.
So, I guess I should begin at the beginning.......flashback.....Wednesday, Nov. 5th....
I was having a terrible day.....I mean terrible....the kind of day that makes you want to end it all....or at least get so drunk that you don't care what happens to you next. I had to go to work and see HIM. I was dreading it and desiring it at the same time. He basically ended it via e-mail on Monday and I was reeling from my emotions. I know this is where people would say, barely anything happened, some flirting, some online chat, some e-mails, a web cam episode....girl get over it....what did you think was going on?? But honestly, HONESTLY, I really thought that I could have my cake and eat it too. I thought we were on the same page....but we weren't.
I was so happy to have this guy who I have liked/thought was nice for 10 years show an interest in me. He's such a nice guy, funny, cute and I guess maybe I've had a crush on him for a long time. At one point I was so tempted to tell him I liked him (this was years ago) but I was married so where could it go? Then he got married and it was like....okay...we're both married...he's just a nice guy let's leave it at that.
Fast forward several years and I am still married, he is married with 3 kids and I only see him through work maybe once or twice a year. But we got thrown together for a project and it was so much fun hanging out with him and we seemed to click and we laughed and chatted and then he made a few flirty comments/probing questions and I couldn't help myself I opened up to him. I showed him a secret part of myself that I've keep hidden under lock and key for so long. He flirted, I couldn't help it, I admit, I flirted back, we exchanged "secret" e-mails and I didn't think anything would come of it....but it did.
The next day, I e-mailed him a thank you for working on the project, he e-mailed me back, I e-mailed him back, he e-mailed me and that's when the real flirting began and I made a choice....I did. I told him to e-mail me on the personal account....a green light to see where it might go and that night I got home and checked e-mail and there he was.....he e-mailed me. So, I admit I was culpable....I said it was okay for him to e-mail me, but HE was the one to do it, to take it to the next level and so I thought we were on the same page.
I thought he wanted to flirt and chat and the way he talked and the questions he asked about monogamy made me think he wanted something real, something physical, not just something virtual. And so, we began e-mailing and it was fun and exciting and it made me feel pretty and sexxy and desirable again after such a long time of feeling unattractive to the male species. Then it escalated and he asked for more....he wanted to IM with me. I hadn't done it in years and certainly not with any men, just girl friends, but it would make it easier he said and so I was game and the next day I loaded yahoo IM to my computer and we were off and running and it was fun and flirty and I felt good.
And then....he almost got caught. We'd set up rules...good ones I thought, ones that I designed and he agreed upon. He said we needed to be careful, didn't want to hurt our spouses, and then "he bent the rules". He went away with his wife and took his laptop and late one night we IMed and he knew he should keep the chatting with me short so as not to make his wife suspicious, but he kept chatting. Maybe I should have insisted, but I was flattered and 20 minutes later it was too late. The next day she questioned him on why he'd been on the computer so long, what was he doing? Oops-now he was nervous, guilty, jumpy with me. I wasn't to blame, he should know better, but I should have realized that for all his talk he was an amateur or maybe he wanted to get caught, I don't know....but we proceeded cautiously. The daily chats became every few day chats, he was nervous...understandably. But I should have known the writing was on the wall, that it couldn't last, that I was getting hooked on wanting him and he was too nervous, I should have backed away slowly, but I didn't, I couldn't and in the end the heartbreak would be all mine....leading me on a dark and dangerous path....could I survive and "break on through to the other side"? Could I try something foreign, enter a land of liars and cheats and sex starved souls and survive? Only time would tell....and what led me to this path? This land of sexual suggestions and innuendos? One very bad cam episode, but more on that later.....and what of that mysterious man.....let's call him Mr. Colorado for now....my sexual saviour, my beacon through the darkness called "yahoo chat"....who is he and just how did he come to my rescue? So much to say, so much to catch you up on.....future fun and excruciating installments to cum!
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